Contemplation – Day 18

If you want to change the way others treat you, you should first change the way you treat yourself. Unless you learn to love yourself, fully and sincerely, there is no way you can be loved. Once you achieve that stage, however, be thankful for every thorn that others might throw at you. It is a sign that you will soon be showered in roses.

I accept health and wholeness as my divine birthright. 

Spot on  with Rule 18 again today. I am at a place where people are used to talking to each other without respect. Inside, I started to notice the pain of being addressed with coarseness. As I was sitting in meditation today, I looked at where the ‘crack’ on my ‘wall of Love’ is; where it is that harsh words enter my sphere and cause me pain; where it is that I do not love myself enough to keep the little sneaky intruders out.

Today, in my meditation, I saw an old black and white photo with a little girl of about 7 in int. She looked very sad. She had just lost her best friend. She felt heartbroken and lost. She needed to be loved, consoled and embraced, but there was not anybody there to hold her. Her friend was not there either any more to lift her and make her smile.

Then she noticed that her environment was also in a lot of pain. As she was reading their actions, she thought that the pain was her own fault, that in some ways she was responsible for their pain, anger and anguish. 

She suspected that she could not be loved and embraced with her pain and sadness. As a result, she shuffled all her painful feelings onto an invisible corner of her mind, put a cheeky smile onto her face and made sweet- and fun-self available to her sad environment in return for love and care.

From this recollection, I also understood how I had learnt to treat myself with disrespect and with harsh words. I did my best today to embrace my inconsolable child inside of me; I supported her to heal and feel whole again with all her feelings; I whispered sweet words to her and bought her a pair of blue shoes! 🙂

Read: DAY18,  40 Rules of Love, form Release to Embrace (click)