Intimacy vs Loneliness

In this podcast I talk about relationship patters and how true intimacy can be achieved and how to avoid being lonely in a relationships. I touch on being an odd ball and how we can handle being different and still being OK with it. I also go into details about relationship roles and how to change them. I call these Maverick Relationships.

Why is it so scary being yourself?

I am not sure exactly. But there is an element of unsafely in being true to ourselves that is almost inexplicable. The only way to notice this fear is to sit in the silence for a while and watch how the nerve-wracking inner tension caused by the world starts easing away.

The more I put myself out there with my little creative treasures, the more scary it gets. Being refused or rejected is not a great feeling but tolerable. However, for me, being ridiculed for my most precious gifts is heart-breaking.

We all have these little pearls of great price within us, the unique attributes of our soul.

As children, each time we were told off for having drawn on the wallpaper or on the furniture, or when we were punished to be too energetic and running around the house, or when we put into detention for chatting during the class with a classmate who needed our support, we learn that we are not OK as we are.

As a result of that, we start hiding our little precious treasures and start wearing a mask that reflects what the world around us wants to see us being. With that inner betrayal, we loose contact with ourselves and turn to the world for satisfaction and love.

When we take the courage to start turning within, first we must confront the pain of treachery. Not easy. Sometimes it takes years of forgiveness to release the pain caused by our disloyalty. And it is still not the end of the road.

As soon as, we regain our sense of true self, a trust issue starts emerging with an immense sense of fear saying ‘what if it happens again? What if you betray me again? How can I trust you again?’ Will you now stay by my values and needs or will you sell out again?’

This is the second leg of the journey, walking though the fires of fear.

El Sistema

Jose Antonio Abreu is the charismatic founder of a youth orchestra system that has transformed thousands of kids’ lives in Venezuela. Here he shares his amazing story and unveils a TED Prize wish that could have a big impact in the US and beyond.

Watch this video to learn more about the program

Jose Antonio Abreu

Jose Antonio Abreu founded El Sistema (“the system”) in 1975 to help poor Venezuelan kids learn to play a musical instrument and be part of an orchestra. 30 years on, El Sistema has seeded 102 youth orchestras — and many happy lives.


Is your right-brain turned on?

What is Right-brain thinking?
Two Ways of Knowing

Betty Edwards has used the terms L-Mode and R-Mode to designate two ways of knowing and seeing – the verbal, analytic mode and the visual, perceptual mode – no matter where they are located in the individual brain. You are probably aware of these different characteristics. L-mode is a step-by-step style of thinking, using words, numbers and other symbols. L-mode strings things out in sequences, like words in a sentence. R-mode on the other hand, uses visual information and processes, not step-by-step, but all at once, like recognizing the face of a friend.

“You have two brains: a left and a right. Modern brain scientists now know that your left brain is your verbal and rational brain; it thinks serially and reduces its thoughts to numbers, letters and words… Your right brain is your non-verbal and intuitive brain; it thinks in patterns, or pictures, composed of ‘whole things,’ and does not comprehend reductions, either numbers, letters, or words.” From The Fabric of Mind, by the eminent scientist and neurosurgeon, Richard Bergland. Viking Penguin, Inc., New York 1985. pg.1

Source Betty Edwards

The healing power of colours

The writer of this article – please find link below – have spent countless hours researching the topic of ‘the healing powers of colours’. I chose a few bits, my favourite ones, to share here with you.

Wassilly Kandinsky, Blue Mountain, oil, 76-3/8″ x 51″. Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum, New York, NY.

Chromotherapy – Healing with Color

Several ancient cultures, including the Egyptians and Chinese, practiced chromotherapy — using colors to heal. Chromotherapy is sometimes referred to as light therapy or colourology and is still used today as a holistic or alternative treatment.

Little Known Facts About Color

The first known theory of color was developed by Aristotle who believed it was sent by God from heaven through celestial rays of light. He suggested that all colors came from white and black and related them to the four elements – water, air, earth, and fire. Surprisingly his beliefs on color were widely held for over 2,000 years until replaced by those of Newton.

It has been said that Leonardo da Vinci preferred to meditate in a lavender or purple-colored light.

Some 75 percent of small children choose purple over other colors.

Depending on our cultural background the significance of colors may vary significantly. While the color white is used in many Western countries to represent purity and innocence, it is seen as a symbol of mourning in many Eastern countries.
In the 1980’s, scientists found that painting jail cells with a Pepto-Bismol-like hue calmed aggressive inmates. The shade became known as “Drunk Tank Pink.”

To get the best color displayed on your LCD monitor, make sure to set it to 32-bit color. This measurement refers to color depth, which is the number of color values that can be assigned to a single pixel in an image. Color depth can range from 1 bit (black-and-white) to 32 bits (over 16.7 million colors).


Different is good

In this podcast I talk about how a genius, someone with a higher level of awareness, can make a positive difference in the life of those around him. (Read some information on the circumstance of this performance below.)

Some facts

One of the most widely-circulated links after Prince’s death was a video of his induction to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2004.

It sees Prince joining an all-star version of the Beatles’ While My Guitar Gently Weeps, backed by Tom Petty, Steve Winwood and George Harrison’s son, Dhani. He keeps to the sidelines until the final two minutes, when he steps forward to deliver one of the most breathtaking guitar solos you’ve ever seen, full of fluttering high notes and ringing harmonics.

Amazingly, Prince never rehearsed this moment with the band. At a run-through the night before it was Jeff Lynne’s guitarist, Marc Mann, who took the solo.

“Prince doesn’t say anything, just starts strumming, plays a few leads here and there, but for the most part, nothing memorable,” recalled Joel Gallen, who directed the ceremony.

But when the big moment came, Prince stole the show. At one point, he turned to face Petty and Harrison, then fell backwards into the audience – while still playing – before strutting off stage, throwing his guitar into the air before the song ended.

“You see me nodding at him, to say, ‘Go on, go on,'” Petty told the New York Times. “I remember I leaned out at him at one point and gave him a ‘This is going great!’ kind of look.

“He just burned it up. You could feel the electricity of ‘something really big’s going down here.'”

Prince later claimed he had never even heard the song before it was sent to him to learn for the performance.


Az őszinteség fontossága

Cikk, a Nőklapja Psychologia Augusztusi számában talállható

Hosszú évek óta nem élek Magyarországon. Amikor látogatóba jövök megfigyeléseket teszek, nézem a változásokat, olvasom az ujságokat, hogy minél informáltabb legyek.

Örömmel olvastam Krafiáth Orsolya irását, a Nőklapja Pszichológiában, Szabó Győző és Csernus Imre kooperációjáról, ami most film ormában is a nagyközönség elé kerül, Győző 2o12-es könyve után.

A fenti sorok igazán megragadtak, mert nagyon fontosnak tartom, hogy ez a társadalolom elkezdjen őszintén beszélni. Nem állitom, hogy más társadalmakban nem hazudnak magunkak és másoknak az emberek. De állitom, hogy a Magyar társadalomban az önámitás népbetegség.

Az a megfigyelésem, hogy szinte mindenki hazudik magának (és másoknak) az életének valamely aspektusában. Bár vannak úgynevezett ártatlan hazugságok, de az ember, aki ezeket hazudja tisztában kell legyen azzal, hogy hazudik. De ez a kultúra ámit! Azért ámit, mert nem mer őszinte lenni: vagy azért nem, mert túl fáj látni a valóságot, az ember tehetetlenségét, vagy azért, mert az önmagunkról fentartott kép megbukna az első igaz szónál.

Én ebben a hazugság szövevényben nőttem fel, a sűrűjében, amikor még az, aki igazat mondott az életével játszott. De azok az idők már elmúltak. Már nem kényszer a hazugság, hanem választás.

A legszomorúbb mégis az, hogy támadunk és gyűlölünk mindenkit, aki őszinteségre késztet bennünket. Ahogy azt Cernus is teszi. Tisztelem a bátorságáért.

Öszinteség nélkül, ahogy Csernus is mondja, az élet elszáll anélkül, hogy élnénk. Egész életünke a hazugságok és önámitásk oltárán áldozzuk fel. Önismeretet az ember csak az öszinteség mezsgyéJén tudja elérni, még akkor is, ha fáj! A fájdalom csak pillanatnyi, addig tart mig lehull az álca. A megkönnyebülés és felszabadulás boldogság fröccse mindenért kárpótol.

Ha további információkat szeretnél az általam tartott önismeret szerzést támogató művéseti programokról, itt (CLICK) találhatsz. A honlapom angol nyelvű, de szivesen adok magyarnyelvű információt. Az alábbi emailcimre irj. Köszönöm.