Week 4

Rule 4
Intellect and Love are made of different materials. Intellect ties people in knots and risks nothing, but Love dissolves all tangles and risks everything. Intellect is always cautious and advises, ‘Beware too much ecstasy,’ whereas Love says, ‘Oh, never mind! Take the plunge!’ Intelligence does not easily break down, whereas Love can effortlessly reduce itself to rubble. But treasures are hidden among ruins. A broken heart hides treasures.

So this week, I was contemplating on the different messages my Intellect and Love says. I also wondered what treasures my ‘broken heart’ hid. This is what I have found. Pls read and listen to the original post HERE (CLICK).

This past week, I experienced a split in personality so to speak. I became very aware the fragility of my intellect and that of others. It is painful to see how much we build out personality and basically our whole life on the power of our intellect.

Looking back, I know that as a child I was funny, bubbly, laud and cheeky. As a young adult, I was morose, critical and dramatic. As an aging person, I find myself in fear. When I was a child, I was in touch with Love, the essence of my being and Love said “it is all just too funny! Let’s have a ball!” In my twenties and early thirties, I was not in touch with Love any more. My intellect told me that the world was a nasty place inhabited with greedy people so I’d better guard myself. Now, I am confused. I can hear them both.

The reason I lost touch with Love was a broken heart. My heart got broken when I realized that I did not matter at all. When I understood that my presence is actually not a blessing but a burden on a mentally and psychologically challenged family. My intellect saved me and I am grateful for that.

However, I learnt over the years, that my intellect is though quick and clever it is also the home of all of my fears and insecurities. I also understand now that my intellect is incapable of fixing its fears because it is forever lost in the duality of the world. Intellect can only see through the lens of my broken heart and through the residue of my experiences as a child.

I have worked a lot on regaining my sense of hearing for what Love has to say and I still often find myself deaf. In my experience, Love though it is a gentle breeze, it is also always present. It is only audible if I focus into it.

The treasures of my broken heart is my seeking of the Truth. I was so incredibly lost and was so full of insecurities as a young adult that I basically had no other choice but to search for peace and meaning. I found it in the Silence where I can hear Love’s whisper again.