You can study God through everything and everyone in the universe because God is not confined in a mosque, synagogue, or church. But if you are still in need of knowing where exactly His abode is, there is only one place to look for him: in the heart of a true lover.
So, this week we were contemplating about ‘God’s humble abode’ and asking the question: Who is the Lover?
I do not call myself ‘the Lover’. It just does not fit. Love, in my eyes, is supposed to be kind and caring. The God I know – see week 1 – is a fierce God, like Zeus. It moves me restlessly to go beyond and beyond again of what I think I am. There is never a moment of ‘rest’ until I arrive face to face with ‘him’ so I can truly know myself.
I am more like a bohemian rhapsody. I am neither happy, nor unhappy. I am neither lost, nor found. I am not a devotee or an atheist. I am a helpless wanderer, a gypsy, a wayfarer, a vagabond, a nomad, a tramp.
My abode is inside of me. Like a snail, I carry my home with me wherever I go.
As I am starting a new journey once again, I feel scared. I feel helplessly scared. Anent’ I too old now to start all over again? Not as if I have ever finished anything ever. I start it and Life just carries me on.
It maybe hard to understand me and my life if you look at it through the lens of the world. The world wants us to be ‘reliable’ and ‘fit in’. I cannot do that. I am not sure why. I am just not set up that way. Naturally, it makes me a loner and a traveller.
So, I keep on going, wayfaring, going beyond what I know of myself, looking for my true abode where God resides so we can meet face to face.