Contemplation – Day11

The midwife knows that when there is no pain, the way for the baby cannot be opened and the mother cannot give birth. Likewise, for a new self to be born, hardship is necessary. Just as clay needs to go through intense heat to become strong, Love can only be perfected in pain.”

Darkness has no hold on me. I let go of darkness and allow illumination.

Once again, so appropriate. The weather was gloomy today, so was my mood. Every time I closed my eyes and start ed moving closer to Love, I heard ‘let it all go’. But I don’t want to. It is painful. As parts of me is drifting out of my consciousness, I am feeling a sense of loss.

So, I keep on holding onto ideas of myself that though sounds nice, they are not actually true. I am not as independent as I pretend to be. I often feel lost and I wish I could ask for more help. I am not as adventurous as I seem to be. I’d prefer to be at home, sitting with a hot cup of coffee reading on the sofa. I prefer laying in bed under the deveau or by the pool rather than going about changing the world. The person I built myself to be was a ‘means to an end’, my personal response to the environment I grew up in. But I do not need the mascara any more. I can just be me now: A lazy bum with a book fetish! 🙂 hahaha! It does not really matter, anyway. What matter is that I hold nothing between me and Love any more. I let Love mould me now.

Read: DAY11,  40 Rules of Love, form Release to Embrace (click)