Me and my anger

Continuing on from THIS post on Dr Joe Dispenza’s explanation on our addiction to and identification with certain emotions.

OK, so I am angry.

I feel that my anger is completely justified. Those teachers were the scum under the feet of the dirt of the earth. I am absolutely unforgiving. I cannot find that bone inside of me that can make their act OK in any way. Teachers, who humiliate and sacrifice children on the altar of uniformity are the worst of the worst. They are the anthesis of their profession that swears on building people. These un-human-beings were so scared of originality and what it may entail that they did everything in their power to diminish it.

This is how I became angry … very, very angry. I felt helpless and lonely in the face of tyranny and the only was I could fight it was to become an obnoxious and rebellious fury. The system – particularity the education system – was established in a way that it weeded out the odd ones and buried them under a pile of shame, humiliation and low-self-esteem. Not surprisingly, that Hungary used to have one of the highest suicide rate per capita in the world.


Time flies. All this happened in the 70’s and early 80’s when I was a teenager. Probably the saddest part of this story is not what happened the but the fact that I am still angry. Like Dr Dispenza says, being addicted to an emotion that was a response to a situation in the past, that we are still engaging in today, is heart-breaking. We sacrifice our happiness for an emotion whose raison d’etre is long gone.

I notice that every time I feel helpless in communicating my need for being understood and embraced as I am or when I feel misinterpreted, I become very angry and edgy. I see that the learning for me is *to find the way to feel the true emotions underneath my anger, such as my fear or my sadness; *to communicate what is really going on inside of me the most self-loving way; *stay absolutely true to myself without being afraid because the The Wall has fallen :).


ART helps me uncover myself. I am not very good at talking or writing about my feelings in the moment. Though I feel them profoundly when they appear in words I often don’t recognize them. My ART helps me stay in touch with the underlaying honest emotions of the moment, my sincere needs and my true identity.

Flow thru ME

A wonderful song to affirm the good inside of us. The Good that is ever present wishing to express ‘Itself’ in the world though our words and actions. The Good that lives in our Hearts, in our Spirit. What can be more fulfilling than being and instrument of Love in the world? It can be a smallest act of kindness or a life-changing service. It does not matter as long as it comes from the Heart.

Artwork by Marc Chagall

Thoughts on being Spiritual

Being spiritual, or following a spiritual path about is taking a hard look at who I am not, where I am in reaction, and uncovering the hidden truth of my Divine nature.

or as Rev. Yeaky says

“Let life itself be a reflection of you living the spiritual pathway in your journey Home to God.”

Brian Yeakey

The spiritual path, however, means something completely different to everyone. I think it is a good thing. We all walk the path that works for us, that works with us. We are all on a different level of spiritual understanding and it must be respected. I am not happy with people who believe that they have to kill those that do not share their understanding of spirituality. But I understand what they are afraid of.

First of all, for me, walking a spiritual pas has nothing to do with acting kindly, being calm, being helpful, or being generous, etc. Most deeply spiritual people I know are not the nicest creatures on the planet. But as a hipster, some twenty years ago, I often got upset or angry about things I did not agree with, so I thought that enlightenment meant to become sweet and agreeable. What did I do? Well, I started to force a smile on my face. 🙂

Then I realized, that walking a spiritual path only concerns one person only.

Continue reading Thoughts on being Spiritual


I surrender all personal plans to Spirit.

“It’s not always easy to understand that we are not being punished by God, when things go horribly wrong. We have to let go of any idea that we are something separate from God. We have to release any thought that we are somehow undeserving of God’s love. We have to cleanse our consciousness, purify our thoughts to reflect that we are the Beloved of God, that the Light of God is always within.”

Fillmore writes

“There must be a renunciation or letting go of old thoughts before the new can find place in the consciousness.” 

Charles Fillmore

Continue reading Renunciation

5 minutes on Life

“Life is like a box a chocolate, you never know what your going to get.”

Forrest Gump

In my experience, meaningful Life is about a personal evolution and a learning curve in which one needs to unlearn what is untrue and learn the truth about one’s true identity.

I think Life is very different for us all even though the aim is the very same. We all walk an individualized journey with one sole purpose, that is to become one with the Father.

Continue reading 5 minutes on Life


The Asatoma Prayer, an ancient prayer, India

Meditation can lead us from

  • the unreal to the real – There is more to life than what the physical eye can see. The spiritual eye sees the truth, what lies behind the vail of shadows, the unique beauty and magnificence of our exitance.
  • darkness to light – Our daily existence is full of shadows of worry, fear and anxiety. The inner world of Spirit is full of light and light-hearted freedom of being.
  • a time bound state of consciousness to eternity – Our existence reaches beyond the physical, it is timeless and eternal.
  • the false identity of the Ego to the timeless state of Being:  to the eternal I Am.

Continue reading Meditation

Safety thru Meditation

“Man can never exercise dominion until he knows who and what he is and knowing, brings froth that knowledge into the external by exercising it …” “If in your path towards the light you have fixed a point of achievement that attainment of which you think will satisfy you, you have made a limitation that you must eventually destroy.” “You can never be what the Father want you to be until you recognize that you stand alone, with Him as your sole and original guide, just as much alone as if you were the first and only man.” “It is your privilege to be as free as the birds, the trees, the flowers.” “In our communion in the silence with the light within us, the bondage of the higher to the lower is made clear to us, and the true way of release is indicated.” “This understanding is attained through mediation and study in the silence … learning to know God face to face.”

All quotes are from The twelve powers of man by Charles Fillmore (Unity Church founder)

As we observe Easter and Passover, this year, we may want to take the time to contemplate the above. What does it all mean in simple terms?

Well, it is simple: Go within and be free.

Let me elaborate a bit. Instead of following man-made rituals of any kinds, you can sit in the silence and wait on God yourself. In the silence of meditation you can evolve by becoming aware of yourself (higher-self, God-self, Divine-self). There is a magical touch to every meditative practise and that lies in the ‘non-achievement’ nature of it. We do not seek anything in meditation, we let go and wait. We wait until God comes ‘face to face’ and we recognize ourselves in that face. As we let go our attachments to the world, in the silence we find peace.

All of that I have said above can be a real experience as long as you DO IT! No words can give you the experience!

Easter indicates a time of ‘rebirth’ and an overcoming of hardship. Hardship means something different for everyone. This past year has been hard on many of us in some way or another. We felt challenged at best and broken-down at worst.

I look at our responses to the Pandemic and it seems to me that we still try to fix the world out there instead of finding our answers within. We are still looking for the one fix that will erase all the scary monsters our of the world so we can finally live in ‘safety’ and at peace.

There is not such fix.

The world is a scary place because it is ever changing, uncontrollable, and merciless. No matter where you are at in your life, the world always offers something to be afraid of: losing your job, falling ill, dying, loosing a loved one, going bankrupt, and many more. It is in its nature.

In meditation, I can find peace, I can replenish, I know that I am safe. In the Divine Light and Sound I find comfort and I am consoled. This meeting place, where the Divine meets the earthy is inside of me. God is not a father figure hanging above from the clouds. I can meet God ‘face to face’, I can step into the Love of Spirit inside of me by aligning myself with IT.


By calling upon the Divine Spark, the I AM, inside of me, I can tune into the Loving and a sense of ‘all is well-ness’. As I am holding myself in the silence of Meditation, I allow myself to be nurtured and renewed in the everlasting Loving Presence of the Divine.


Easter Rebirth



The origin of Easter is rooted in an ancient pagan tradition, the celebration of the goddess, Eostre, who heralded the beginning of spring. While the name “Easter” is used in the English-speaking world, many cultures refer to it as “Passover” or “Pascha”. Early Christians chose to celebrate the resurrection of Christ around the time of Passover because Jesus died during the Passover festival and his followers believed he was resurrected from the dead three days later. So. it was logical to commemorate these events in close proximity.

More importantly, however,

each of these traditions is rooted in a story of OVERCOMING and BECOMING.

These stores depict the overcoming of ‘exile’ or ‘death’ and of being renewed. And this is the key. Resurrection (according to the Christian tradition) is a time of renewal and becoming of Spirit. So, as we approach the Easter festivities,

we are asked to contemplate on blossoming and becoming of the ‘I AM’.

Very truly, I tell you , the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do and, in fact, will do greater works than these

John 14:12, NIV

Continue reading Easter Rebirth