Week 5

RULE 5
Most of the problems of the world stem from linguistic mistakes and simple misunderstandings. Don’t ever take words at face value. When you step into the zone of Love, language, as we know it, becomes obsolete. That which cannot be put into words can only be grasped through silence.

This week we will contemplate on the or I should rather say in the Silence. We will take words such as LOVE, GOD, DIVINE, SECURITY, BELONGING, – any word that can have multiple meanings depending on context or you just simply wish to find your meaning to – and contemplate on it in the Silence.

So, what have I found int he Silence?
Tears, mostly.
It is rather interesting. I was hoping to contemplate on meanings beyond meaning but instead I found the ‘feeling’. It was amazing to realize, that for me, the words’ meaning is on a feeling level. 
So, there is not much I can share about my experiences because it is rather difficult to put these feelings into words.

What have YOU found?

Weekly Contemplations W5

RULE 5
Most of the problems of the world stem from linguistic mistakes and simple misunderstandings. Don’t ever take words at face value. When you step into the zone of Love, language, as we know it, becomes obsolete. That which cannot be put into words can only be grasped through silence.

This week we will contemplate on the or I should rather say in the Silence. We will take words such as LOVE, GOD, DIVINE, SECURITY, BELONGING, – any word that can have multiple meanings depending on context or you just simply wish to find your meaning to  -and contemplate on it in the Silence.

I would love to know what you have come to realize!

Week 4

Rule 4
Intellect and Love are made of different materials. Intellect ties people in knots and risks nothing, but Love dissolves all tangles and risks everything. Intellect is always cautious and advises, ‘Beware too much ecstasy,’ whereas Love says, ‘Oh, never mind! Take the plunge!’ Intelligence does not easily break down, whereas Love can effortlessly reduce itself to rubble. But treasures are hidden among ruins. A broken heart hides treasures.

So this week, I was contemplating on the different messages my Intellect and Love says. I also wondered what treasures my ‘broken heart’ hid. This is what I have found. Pls read and listen to the original post HERE (CLICK).

This past week, I experienced a split in personality so to speak. I became very aware the fragility of my intellect and that of others. It is painful to see how much we build out personality and basically our whole life on the power of our intellect.

Looking back, I know that as a child I was funny, bubbly, laud and cheeky. As a young adult, I was morose, critical and dramatic. As an aging person, I find myself in fear. When I was a child, I was in touch with Love, the essence of my being and Love said “it is all just too funny! Let’s have a ball!” In my twenties and early thirties, I was not in touch with Love any more. My intellect told me that the world was a nasty place inhabited with greedy people so I’d better guard myself. Now, I am confused. I can hear them both.

The reason I lost touch with Love was a broken heart. My heart got broken when I realized that I did not matter at all. When I understood that my presence is actually not a blessing but a burden on a mentally and psychologically challenged family. My intellect saved me and I am grateful for that.

However, I learnt over the years, that my intellect is though quick and clever it is also the home of all of my fears and insecurities. I also understand now that my intellect is incapable of fixing its fears because it is forever lost in the duality of the world. Intellect can only see through the lens of my broken heart and through the residue of my experiences as a child.

I have worked a lot on regaining my sense of hearing for what Love has to say and I still often find myself deaf. In my experience, Love though it is a gentle breeze, it is also always present. It is only audible if I focus into it.

The treasures of my broken heart is my seeking of the Truth. I was so incredibly lost and was so full of insecurities as a young adult that I basically had no other choice but to search for peace and meaning. I found it in the Silence where I can hear Love’s whisper again.

Weekly Contemplations W4

Rule 4
Intellect and Love are made of different materials. Intellect ties people in knots and risks nothing, but Love dissolves all tangles and risks everything. Intellect is always cautious and advises, ‘Beware too much ecstasy,’ whereas Love says, ‘Oh, never mind! Take the plunge!’ Intelligence does not easily break down, whereas Love can effortlessly reduce itself to rubble. But treasures are hidden among ruins. A broken heart hides treasures.

This week as we look at out life, particularly areas where we experience disturbance, we will contemplate on the following questions: 

  1. What does my Intellect say?

  2. What does Love say?

  3. What treasures my ‘broken heart’ hides?

The intellect is a cleaver; it discerns and rifts its way into the secret of things.
—Henry David Thoreau.

The greater our knowledge of anything, the more we love it.
—Leonardo Da Vinci.

 

Week 3

Rule 3
You can study God through everything and everyone in the universe because God is not confined in a mosque, synagogue, or church. But if you are still in need of knowing where exactly His abode is, there is only one place to look for him: in the heart of a true lover.

So, this week  we were contemplating about ‘God’s humble abode’ and asking the question: Who is the Lover?

I do not call myself ‘the Lover’. It just does not fit.  Love, in my eyes, is supposed to be kind and caring. The God I know – see week 1 – is a fierce God, like Zeus. It moves me restlessly to go beyond and beyond again of what I think I am. There is never a moment of ‘rest’ until I arrive face to face with ‘him’ so I can truly know myself.

I am more like a bohemian rhapsody. I am neither happy, nor unhappy. I am neither lost, nor found. I am not a devotee or an atheist. I am a helpless wanderer, a gypsy, a wayfarer, a vagabond, a nomad, a tramp.

My abode is inside of me. Like a snail, I carry my home with me wherever I go.

As I am starting a new journey once again, I feel scared. I feel helplessly scared. Anent’ I too old now to start all over again? Not as if I have ever finished anything ever. I start it and Life just carries me on.

It maybe hard to understand me and my life if you look at it through the lens of the world. The world wants us to be ‘reliable’ and ‘fit in’. I cannot do that. I am not sure why. I am just not set up that way. Naturally, it makes me a loner and a traveller.

So, I keep on going, wayfaring, going beyond what I know of myself, looking for my true abode where God resides so we can meet face to face.

 

Weekly Contemplations W3

Week 3 – Rule 3

Rule 3
You can study God through everything and everyone in the universe because God is not confined in a mosque, synagogue, or church. But if you are still in need of knowing where exactly His abode is, there is only one place to look for him: in the heart of a true lover.

This week, as we are contemplating on Rule3, we will also be asking ourselves the following question:

WHO IS THE LOVER?

At the beginning of your meditation or contemplation time, I would like invite you to read (listen to) this poem by Rumi

The springtime of Lovers has come,
that this dust bowl may become a garden;
the proclamation of heaven has come,
that the bird of the soul may rise in flight.

The sea becomes full of pearls,
the salt marsh becomes sweet as kauthar,
the stone becomes a ruby from the mine,
the body becomes wholly soul.

Kulliyat-e Shams, 21

I would love to know what you have come to realize!

If you are interested, please read more about the inspiration that resulted in me walking this 40-week journey with Rumi and Shamz HERE (CLICK)

Week 2

If you dont like reading, listen to the PODCAST version of the text below.

Rule 2
The path to the Truth is a labor of the heart, not of the head. Make your heart your primary guide! Not your mind. Meet, challenge, and ultimately prevail over your nafs (false ego) with your heart. Knowing your false ego will lead you to the Knowledge of God.

Have you noticed that when you start focusing on something, it starts appearing in front of your eyes? 🙂 As I started contemplating on these Weekly Rules by Shams, I started to have profound experiences both in the physical and in my meditations. WOW!

This past week, I contemplated on my ‘false ego’ – nafs – and how it prevents me from the knowing of God (my Divine Essence) and getting close the indwelling God by asking myself the following questions during my meditation time:

What is my false ego ( my nafs) like? or Who is it that I am NOT?

In what ways does this knowledge help me move closer to the Knowing of God.

On a personal note, I know it is hard to answer these questions. When I first came across them I did not know what to make of them. Now, I know that I do not need to understand these questions intellectually, I just need to allow my inner wisdom’s  guidance to reveal the ‘answers’ to me. By answers, I do not mean the ‘solution’ because there is none. God, Spirit, us as humans in Spirit, we are complete and whole as we are, there is nothing to fix. Even though, it often does not feel that way, it is still true. The questions above can guide us shifting our consciousness via our thoughts back to the ‘knowing that we are part of God’. For me God is not a person. By God, I mean, the Big Oneness, a level of consciousness where there is no separation, no false emotions, but purity, simplicity, neutrality and Loving. 

So, what these questions revealed to me – again 🙂 – is that my ‘false ego’ runs of something I call ‘Crime and Punishment’! Dostoevsky was a genius! 🙂 My ‘false ego’ runs on the fuel of guilt. This underlying painful emotion makes me a ‘fixer’ and a ‘punisher’, someone who thinks it is her job to see all the ‘imperfections’ of the world and fix them or force others to fix them. Also, because of the guilt I feel all the time, I think it is my responsibility to make it all happen.

It is really hard for me to ACCEPT life as it is. It is often challenging for me to embrace the fact that actually all is well even if it does not seem or feel that way. We all move through life by learning, making choices, course correcting, learning, crying a little, laughing a little, and the whole cycle again. No life is worse than the other. Everyone has the power to make changes in their lives if they chose to. I am saying this with great compassion because I know how hard it is to actually do it. It is CRAZY HARD! But possible. Each life, mine included, resembles the consciousness that we live with. It shows how far or close we are to the ‘knowing of God’.

So, these questions helped me to realize what it is that I can ‘do’ for myself so I can move closer to God. 

Because I am run on guilt and punishments, I take on a lot of responsibilities that are not mine and neglect the one responsibly that is actually mine. It is not my job to fix the world or to tell others how to live their lives. It is, however, my job to chose a life that reflects who I truly am. My misplayed sense of responsibility prevents me from being with God in ‘his’ Loving and Care for me because I am constantly on a quest for saving the world or people from their doom. 

I am realizing that what I need to practice is ACCEPTANCE, finding that place inside of me that knows that no-one needs saving because God resides in everyone. By connecting with the Essence of God, I maybe able to see and know that all is well beyond a mental concept. I’d love to have that experience when I can look at people who are in great pain and sorrow because of their circumstances or mental dispositions, and feel compassion but not an urge to do something for them. Instead of condemning people for their ‘stupidity’ and ‘ignorance’ I wish to know that they are making the best choices available to them and they WILL move on when they have learnt the lessons shelled in those experiences they are having.

It is such a giant learning for me. I hope that my understanding how my ‘false ego’ works, I can guide myself easier towards experiences that enlighten my way towards more Loving experiences in Life. 

I hope that these weekly contemplations and my sharing help you to find your own answers and move into greater Oneness with the consciousness that you call ‘God’ (or Divines or else). 

 

Weekly Contemplations W2

Week 2 – Rule 2

Rule 2
The path to the Truth is a labor of the heart, not of the head. Make your heart your primary guide! Not your mind. Meet, challenge, and ultimately prevail over your nafs (false ego) with your heart. Knowing your false ego will lead you to the Knowledge of God.

This week, as we are contemplating on Rule2, we will will aslo be asking ourselves the following questions:

What is my false ego ( my nafs) like? or Who is it that I am NOT?

In what ways does this knowledge help me move closer to the Knowing of God.

If you are interested, please read more about the inspiration that resulted in me walking this 40-week journey with Rumi and Shamz HERE (CLICK)

Week 1

Rule 1
How we see God is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. If God brings to mind mostly fear and blame,
it means there is too much fear and blames welled inside us. If we see God as full of Love and compassion, so are we.

Ok,so … The first week has been a disaster. I am actually laughing at my self. Why is it that we make these ‘commitments’ so serious that every inch of my body is incomplete resistance as a result of it!

Nevertheless, I have contemplated … What is God like for me?

I have asked myself the questions below, and came up with the following …

How do I see myself in the world?

How do I see the world around me?

How do I experience my immediate environment?

How do all this reflect the way I see God?

I am in a ‘split-state-of-mind’ so to speak. There is a part of me who knows and feels that God is the source of Good: beauty, creativity, kindness, smiles, and more. When I meditate, I sit in the silence and after a while – after my mental craze has subsided – I start feeling the presence of Good; the Loving Kindness, the Care and Love that is available for me (as long as I reach into it).

At the same time, God is also a negligent parent for me. I am angry with God and I am angry with myself. I look around myself and I also see havoc and mayhem. Ignorant people running the show and I feel victimized. I feel helpless. I need God to sort this out and make it right. I need ‘him’ to make this pain and anquish to go away.

But God, the God that resides in the silence does not descends and sorts things out. This God, is not the God. This God is a creation of the phantasies of a young child who was neglected and uncared for. A child’s plea for help who had grown up too fast and became resentful and demanding as a result.

The God I often see as myself is harsh and unforgiving. L:uckily, I am also aware of the God who lives in the silence; the Loving and Caring God who walks with me, cares for me, hugs me when I sleep; who appreciates me even when I hate ‘Him’.