This is Passover week in the Jewish world and Easter in the Christian. When Yeshua (Jesus) was alive, there was no distinction between the two groups because there was no Christianity. He and his disciples were Jews who celebrated Passover (and all the other Jewish holy days and festivals), and, supposedly, his so-called “Last Supper” was a Passover dinner. Whether you are Jewish or Christian or neither, this can be a significant time for you.
As you may know, for Jews, this is a time commemorating the liberation of the Hebrews from over four hundred years of enslavement. It is also considered a time to look within ourselves and see what is enslaving us today – cultural opinions, social pressures, depression, addiction, attachments, negative habitual reactive patterns, judgments against ourselves, and a seemingly endless array of other things, inwardly or outwardly based. For Christians, it is a joyful time to celebrate Yeshua’s resurrection and the fulfilling of God’s promises. Because there is so much energy going on all around the world this week emphasizing the importance of freedom, it is a propitious time to be grateful for the freedoms we have and to look at what we may be ready to release, in order to step into even greater freedom within. And in case you have not noticed, gratitude always opens our hearts and creates a greater receptivity within us. And isn’t greater receptivity itself a greater freedom than being closed down and constricted?
So, what will you stop holding onto this week that is creating distance in your life – distance between you and God within you, or distance between you and someone you love in the world? In the mystical teachings of ancient Judaism they talked of many “realms” or “heavenly palaces” between this world and the “heavens” where God dwelt. But the highest realm, the realm where souls could literally stand in the presence of the living God, Lord of all creation, was called “Atzilut.” It literally means “nearness.” What we naturally want to do when we love someone is to draw close to them. In other words, to experience “nearness.” What prevents us from having the intimate relationship with God (or others) that we long for is the distance we create within us – through our fears, our bitterness, our anger, our shame, our false beliefs, our attitudes, and, perhaps most of all, our unwillingness to yield to love: all the many ways we deny the truth of who we are and how much we are truly loved.
Isn’t it time? Time to release all the holding back, all the sadness, all the need to protect ourselves from the very thing we want most. One day, we will tire of living life at a distance and will step forward into the awaiting divine embrace, inwardly into the arms of God, outwardly into the arms of those who love us. Will that day be today? Only you can answer.
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” Albert Einstein
That witticism—I’ll call it “Einstein Insanity”—is usually attributed to Albert Einstein. Though the Matthew effect may be operating here.*
I often hear people talk about wanting to have more fulfilling experiences or to attract different types of people and opportunities or to have more income. It is admirable that we consider making conscious changes in an ever changing world. 🙂
For making lasting change, however, wishing is not enough. We are habitual creatures who are often unaware of our repeated thoughts and actions that actually generate our daily life experiences. So, making changes can be tricky.
Change is personal
When it comes to change, in my experience, we need to understand where we need to ‘intervene’ in order to make lasting changes. First, we need to take a deep look within our own patterns of behaviour and their results. We need to gain clarity on how we generate these experiences. We may want to ask ourselves: What do I believe about myself, others, the world and the Divine so I have these specific experiences? Then we need to start making some changes in areas where we wish to have happier and more fulfilling experiences.
The trap of ‘Divine Order’
God does not make changes in our lives. We do it by thinking and behaving differently. God walks our days with us but we are required to walk our individualized journey ourselves and take the learning from our experiences. God’s main wish for us is to know ourselves as a Divine Being and know that we are Loved. In my experience, Divine Order means Acceptance. I am not to fight my experiences or make them wrong but use them for my upliftment and growth.
Change is a process
The first step to any change is acceptance of what is. As I look at my flaws, the habits that do not work for me any more, I generate a sense of Compassion for myself by being Accepting. That is Divine Order. I accept where I am at JUST AS I AM.
Then, I start releasing the limitations that hinder me from having the experiences I would truly like to have.
Finally, I start to BEHAVE DIFFERENTLY. This is the CREATIVE part of the change journey. God does not tell us what we need to do exactly in order to have the experiences we want. We must start experimenting with life. We need to try out different ways of thinking and acting to find what works for us.
This part of the CHANGE JOURNEYis about interchanging between release and course-correct. I keep on releasing old patterns and try different new ways of thinking and being.
God walks with me encouraging me and cheering for me! Eventually, through the inner and outer journey I have walked, I arrive to new experiences. I affirm them and reinforce them by creating a habit with the new thinking and the new behaviour. Change has taken place.
Our steps are made firm by the Lord, … though we stumble, we shall not fall headlong, for the Lord holds us by the hand. Psalm 37:23-24
We all know or at least guess that this sentence is true and still we often stand helpless and bitter in the face of our life challenges and disappointments.
1.Have you ever wondered why your life doesn’t match your wishes and your dreams?
2. Have you ever dared have a deep enough look at your life, your relationships, your work-life, and your financial situation, and ask yourself :what do I believe about myself, the world, and God that I live this very life?
You see, the answer to the first questions is rather simple: there is too big a gap between what you believe – about yourself, life, the Divine – and the dreams your harboring in your heart.
The answer to the second question is a bit more complicated.
Everyone’s life is an unfolding story of challenges, bravery, learning, courage, setbacks, sadness and happiness, and more. The tricky bit is that we are both the writers and the readers of our story.
These days there are millions of self-help resources out there! We talk and contemplate on the different themes offered in these self-help and spiritual resources but do we actually do the work?
My story started with an undiagnosed anxiety disorder in the late 1980’s and early 1990’s. I smoked like a chimney and I had panic attacks. None knew or cared about these symptoms towards the end of the socialistic regime. Eventually, it got so bad that I took a class on psychology at uni and started seeing a therapist. I read numerous books and attended my sessions diligently but nothing changed.
After uni, I moved to another country. My symptoms got worse. I lost even more weight. The books did not help. I did not have money for a therapist. Eventually, I started writing a journal that brought some relief and comfort to my extremely high level of anxiety.
In 1998, my beloved Grandma died and I fell into a depression that I might not have survived, had I not found Insight Seminars through a kind friend in the UK. I literally set through the first course. I did not engage. I could not. I was too clammed up. I just tried to understand what they were saying and was rather shocked that people stood up and talked openly about their deepest wounds. Nevertheless, I knew deep within that if I stuck around I will be able to recover.
To cut a 20-year old story short, I got involved in Insight and Essence Seminars, I volunteered with them for decades, and recruited people to their seminars. Why? Because these seminars and workshops helped me understand that ‘understanding’ is not enough! ACTION = energy in movement makes the difference!
What is ACTION?
In my experience, ACTION is an inward and upward looking movement, not an outward looking one. Running around and trying to find the right therapist, coach or practitioner to fix us, does not make much difference. The WORK is always personal and in a way lonesome. We need to use the support that we are given in a personalized way and heal ourselves. By healing we start releasing all that is false about us and start connecting with the truth of who we are. In that we automatically start living more of our dreams, not much extra effort is needed.
Living the dream is actually being the person who has the dream.
Walking the journey of discovery and unfolding is ACTION. Taking part in LIFE fully – with all its twists and turns – is ACTION. Sitting in meditation connecting with our Divine Essence is ACTION. Practicing Forgiveness and Gratitude is ACTION. Discovering who we are and who we are not by gaining insight is ACTION.
If you ever want to life your dreams – that may change over time – you must take ACTION.
We all experience fear, it is just part of the human experience in the duality of the physical-mental world. Fear is a funny trickster and a sneaky little fellow. It is very hard to detect it and it is often covered up with habits and activities that look completely normal. However, these ‘defensive mechanisms’ prevent us from seeing what stands between us and God.
In order to experience the Loving that is available to us all through our connectedness with the Divine Energy which is made up of many different qualities such as wisdom, imagination, faith, power, will, understanding and more, we need to stand like children: pure.
Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3 NIV
Becoming pure simply means that we release the layers of ‘deceit’ covering our pure self – the Soul or Spirit – within us.
When we felt fearful as children, we learnt different ways of ‘being’ so to deal with the fear. Some of us were told ‘not to be silly, there is nothing to be afraid of’ so we learnt that we have to deny our feelings of fear. Some of us were simply shown how the adults around us dealt with their sense of worry and insecurities that are facets of fear: Some burry themselves under a heavy workload, some often talk in loud voices, some pretend to be careless and aloof, some become an alcoholic, some became mentally ill, some become depressed, some pursue endless activates and study project, some hide behind the thick walls of their houses, some pretend to be happy and cheerful all the time, and more.
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18 NIV
Most of our fears stem from different so-called traumas in our lives. Some of these traumas are minor and hardly recognizable, some are major that one could hardly survive. Regardless, they created a fear within us that we often treat with a habit or an action that keeps us separate from experiencing the fullness of God.
Instead of healing the wounds and releasing the fear, we repeatedly treat them with habitual ‘activities’ that actually do not serve our highest good. In order to find the best way to heal wounds, however, we must know what triggers fear in us. So, we need to look into our patterns of behaviour, defences, habitual activates and routines. In order to see them requires us to become aware of our own self, every layer of it.
The process of becoming self-aware and in-sight-ful is called self-study or self-learning.
There are many ways to pursue self-study. One can attend seminars and workshops of different kinds. Some other methods are studying personality typologies. My favorite is the System of the Enneagram which can help us detect our areas where we experience fear the most and gives us some indicators of how we ‘treat’ our fears.
In my own personal experience, facing my fear was a process of many stages. The first stage was opening. I needed to open to the probability that I have fears that I hid from myself. I literally feared the fear. I perceived myself as courageous and bold, so for me seeing my fears was a process of discovery. During the first stage of my discovery, I understood that I handle my own fears as a worrier. I wanted to tackle it. When I noticed that I had a fear of heights, I went bungee-jumping and such. But fear is a clever chap, the more I fought it the stronger it became.
Stage two: sitting down with myself. During stage two I needed to start looking at where my fears stemmed from. I needed to look into the pain and traumas of my childhood and understand why I became a ‘fear-fighter’ and I pretended not to have any fears. During this time I came across the System of the Ennegram that helped me considerably to understand the underlying issues. Being an ENG 8 means that in my limited understanding the more fear I feel the more I fight which prevents me from seeing what lies underneath the fear. I pretended to be strong and capable instead.
The more I investigated the principal causes, the more I understood my actions and reactions. Insight into my own self started to give me choices that I did not have before. Honestly, it was a rather difficult stage because I had to take an honest look at myself, come to terms with the truth that e.g. I am not as strong and detached as I appear to be, and see the truth of who I am regardless of who I would like to appear to be.
Stage three: embracing. I noticed that one of the reasons why we avoid at any cost looking into our flaws and pretences is judgment. As soon as we notice that we do not meet the expectations of our self-image we start judging ourselves that creates separation and pain inside of ourself.
So, during stage three, I learnt to embrace myself. Every time I realized something about myself that contradicted my self-image, I just closed my eyes and told myself that it was OK. I loved myself with all my flaws and incapabilities. As a result, I became more and more honest with myself and with the world. I simply learnt to love myself no matter what. It is never perfect. I keep on discovering areas where I still judge myself or I play small. So, I keep on embracing these flaws and forgiving my actions.
Stage four: dissipating false-self and discovering true self. As a result of discovering and embracing my false-self, my cover-up activities and habits started to lose momentum and power over my choices. They started to dissipate creating a vacuum in their place. From physics we know that there cannot be space without energy filling it up.
I started to discover who I originally was before creating a false-self. During my meditations as I was expressing my loving for my flaws and releasing judgments and the limiting thoughts and behaviours along with them, I started to experience and inflow of energy. It felt as if God in Its Grace started to pour into me the knowing of who I am in my Essence that is of God.This inflow of Loving is literally enlightening. The more I release who I am not, I receive the knowing of who I am.
I am at this stage. I live daily the natural flow of Divine-Cycle – as I call it! 🙂 – insight, release, embrace and the inflow of Loving in return.
Stage Five: Acting in accordance with the knowing of who I am. Fear does not really exist at this stage. This is the stage where one moves into complete alignment with one’s God Essence and The Divine. We live in the flow of the Moment: there is no past or future to worry about.
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.Matthew 5:14-16
So, this is what I can support YOU to do: walking these stages together. I can support you become insightful of your false-self, discover how to embrace yourself just as you are, how to forgive and let go of what is not truly you, and to discover who you truly are in your Divine Essence. To achieve this I use personality typologies like Enneagram and different therapeutic art-coaching techniques. My classes are fun and full of playful creativity.
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
1 Corinthians 13:12 ESV
Why is insight into one’s self so important?
How to gain insight into one’s person, psyche, Spirit and even personal background that often determines our beliefs and the way we see ourselves and the world?
Why develop a compassionate way to support one’s unfolding and developing in Spirit and in God?
COMPASSIONATE INSIGHT for CO-CREATION
We all want to live a life that is happy, fulfilling and aligned with our higher nature. I call such a life a ‘co-creation with the Divine’. I align myself with Spirit and my highest attributes and live them to their fullness and to my heart’s content. According to Dr Csiksznetmihalyi, living in a state of Flow which is being aligned with oneself and allowing life to guide us through life without fear and resistance is the highest and most satisfying way of living or existing.
So, why don’t we all live life this way?
In my observation, most people live a life that was determined by their upbringing, circumstances, racial and economic background. Often without conscious awareness of our life choices, we simply find ourselves in a life that does not somehow resemble what we desire and wish for ourselves and what God intends for us in Its Grace and Loving for us. The Divine Spirit fills us with abilities, attributions, possibilities beyond our wildest imagination and still we often life lives that are mediocre at best.
As a result, many people become frustrated or even better because somehow we feel that we do not live up to our highest potential.
How could we, though? We are not aware of what blocks them or limits them from becoming the best version of themselves. We do not have insight into who we truly are in God, our unique attributes and skills and the mental and emotional block that hinder us in becoming.
Gaining insight and becoming aware of one’s self, person, psyche, Spirit, personal background, etc. is an effort and a process that often takes years to undertake. It is, however, worth the effort! As a result of insight and awareness into who we are and who we are not give us understanding and choices that we did not have before.
As we walk the rocky journey of discovering we gain awareness of what blocks us experiencing God’s Love and care of us, we can release these limitation then we can move into a higher level of connectedness and communion with God. The space within us that we clear by releasing limiting thoughts and emotions are automatically filled with God awareness.
So, why don’t we all walk the journey of insight and awareness? As far as I can see, it is often because we fear judgment. We often grow ups with being judged for our ‘mistakes’, our faults, and flaws. So, we learn to hide them. When we start looking at our own fears, limitations, and foibles, we immediately start judging them that creates pain and separation within us.
So, the most important component of the insight-journey is compassion. With each crams of awareness we must bring in the same amount of living-attention or compassion. In a way, we drive God’s Love into our dark places. With that we create a non-judgmental environment for ourselves to heal and grow.
Finally, as we release our limitations and embrace our God-like nature through the journey of compassionate insight, we naturally move more into the flow of Spirit, we connect deeper into our Oneness with God. As a result of being more aligned with the Divine, we naturally start experiencing and living our attributes in God and we move into in the Flow. In that movement, we instinctively co-create with God.
What are the ways and tools that can support you to gain compassionate insight, a deeper understanding of yourself?
There are many ways to gain insight. There are numerous books, seminars, workshops, retreats, classes, etc. that support self-awareness and self-understanding. I, myself, have taken countless classes, attending many workshops and classes to deepen my self-understanding. However, the methodology that touched me and supported me the most was a combination of art and spirituality. Art helps me to see parts of me that is hidden behind layers of misconceptions. The sacredness of the spirituality approach helps me become compassionate and be able to embrace my flaws and foibles.
I offer creative, artistic, therapeutic- art tools for insight, releasing limitations, healing, completion and regaining wholeness.
Living a spiritual life is not easy. Though it often sounds like it, it is really not about sitting for a while daily chanting some mantra hoping that all that is challenging or uncomfortable in our life will magically disappear.
In our commitment to living a life with the Divine in it, we commit to change and to align ourselves with the ‘will’ of God. Though it sounds spooky, it actually means that we allow God/the Divine to guide us. We do not give up control over our choices in life, we just allow the inflow of Loving to move us to places that is dark and sometimes scary. These scary places need to be discovered so we can bring God’s unconditional Loving Light into it; so we can heal.
In my experience as I meditate and invite God to walk with me, It starts showing me where I carry pain, anguish, anxiety, fear, hurt inside of me. The Divine wants me to Love me for the beautiful and unique creature I am. God wants me to see myself as Its seems me in Its infinite Loving.
But I cannot. The Dark Places, the unhealed places, inside of me prevents me from connecting to the Divine Loving. I sit and call upon God/the Divine, we connect, I feel Its gracious Love for me, then, suddenly, all I can feel is pain and anger. What has gone wrong? Nothing, God has just guided me into a place inside of myself where I store past hurts, a sense of powerlessness and shame. I cannot tell you how uncomfortable and difficult it is to sit and look into the darkness and the pain!
Release and Letting go is a conscious inner action, a strong desire to reconnect with the Grace and the Loving of God. The deeper I move into the Darkness, the more clarity I gain on what this darkness is about. With every bit of clarity I call upon the the Divine Presence and Release it. I say: ‘God, I release this pain and anguish and I am willing to let go of whatever caused it in the past.’
When memories start flowing from the past, I simply forgive them. Regardless of what happened, whether I was wronged or I wronged someone, I do not ponder over the event. I look at it and forgive it. I say: ‘I forgive myself for having generated this experience or I forgive myself for judging myself and others.’ Nothing else.
Then, I start listening into God’s caring whisper: ‘Love it all!’ With that, I start embracing parts of me who felt judged, unloved, uncared for, all that the darkness has covered up until now. I bring it all into the Light, offer it all up to God to be Loved.
In my release, I create a vacuum, some space is freed up inside of my consciousness that is now available to be filled with Divine Love. This Love is not a fuzzy feeling but a new level of consciousness, a new way of seeing myself and my life. This Love makes me a happier person without any change in my physical environment.
It is an inner action, not an outer one. The Love the Divine has in store for us is immeasurable and incomparable to any human love.
40 Days from Release to Embrace
Release and Letting Go is rather appropriate as we are moving into the Lenten season starting on the 22 February, 2023. Till the 6th of April, I will walk the 40 days of Lent from Release to Embrace daily. I will share my journey in short posts daily offering something to contemplate on every day. Join me if you like! I would love to have some company!🙂
By Ildiko Kudlik, ministerial student at Unity UK, DailyWord UK, and UUMS
either reading the daily blogposts I create or joining the FACEBOOK GROUP where I am going to share my writings and daily contemplative questions. I will also post a short video/audio material on the daily posts. (click on the buttons below to join)
We read in the Bible about many miracles that supposedly happened. Many people today dismiss them out of hand as myths or creative inventions and do not accept that such things as miracles exist. Others staunchly insist they were literally true. Some believe that these incidents happened, but only demonstrate some law of nature that people did not understand at the time. For me, there are daily miracles that happen which are every bit as mysterious as the ones in ancient spiritual literature.
For example, how do people find one another? Not only is this a big planet where the likelihood – of, say, my wife and I – ever meeting must be astronomical; this entire physical creation is gigantic and souls could exist here for eons without ever running into one another. Let me tell you our story.
My wife and I first met decades ago at one of the spiritual classes I taught. She was one of many students who attended, and we did not have a personal relationship back then. Thirteen years passed. She was proctoring at a regional academic spell bowl. My son wanted to attend to support a friend who was competing, so I drove him there and dropped him off with the teacher from his school. I was in the building for barely five minutes. During that brief window, Ani saw me, recognized me, and came over to speak to me. That was the beginning of our reacquaintance, our romance, and eventual marriage. Thirteen years! Five minutes! That was a miracle to me.
How do we find our spouse, our closest friends, our spiritual community, our life’s purpose? How do we find God? How did you find this path? How did you find the people and books that have changed your life?
Did you know where to find them before they showed up? What is behind the amazing sequence of apparently “random” circumstances, all of which have to happen at just the right time and in just the right order for these connections to take place? The logistical mathematical probabilities to make it “just happen” to occur in just that way are staggering!
There is an invisible, but intentional, movement going on behind the scenes of our life all the time, and it is done so well and so skillfully that we seldom even notice it. Yes, even in the bad things, the unpleasant and painful ones, something – insight, wisdom, compassion, strength, new and profound life-changing connections – comes out of those that we could (or would) never anticipate or design on our own. Something as simple as getting a puppy, meeting someone through a mutual friend, showing up at a particular event, or just walking down this street instead of that one, can create an unexpected connection and intimacy that forever alters the course of our lives for the better.
Who knows what lies in store for us today? Whose path will we cross? What new friend is wending his way toward us, unbeknownst to either of us? What new discovery will awaken us to new understanding? What opportunity is just around the next corner? Is that, in itself, not miraculous, and completely worthy of our awe?
This much I am sure of: if I am the new connection that Spirit is planning on bringing into someone else’s life, I want to be worthy of that. I want to be a blessing, something that the person I’m affecting is thankful for, and not something they will regret having encountered in life.
Oh, and by the way, finding you is something for which I am deeply grateful.
Written byRev Steven McAffee
With questions and for counselling contact Rev Steven email@example.com
There is an old story that I remember went something like this: Two angels were walking upon the earth in the garb of human beings, one was an elder angel and the other a young angel who was traveling and learning from the elder.
They had walked a long way and were tired as evening was approaching. They came to a large, wealthy looking, well-manicured home with several large outbuildings. They knocked on the door and explained they were travelers who were hungry and tired and asked if they could please have lodging and food for the night. The grumpy man who answered the door said that he had no room for them and nothing to spare, but that they could spend the night in his barn and eat the slop with the pigs. So, they bedded down in the barn as best they could on some unsoiled hay and ate the filth in the pig trough. It was a thoroughly miserable night. They noticed as they lay down to sleep that there was a small hole in the wall behind them in one corner of the stable.
In the morning, when the younger angel awoke, he discovered that the elder one had patched the hole in the wall. They set out on the road again, still hungry, and now sore. The younger angel said, “I do not understand – he obviously could have fed us decent food and let us stay in comfort, but he was so miserly he did not, and yet you fixed his wall for him! Why…??”
The elder angel answered, “Things are not always as they seem!”, and then fell silent.
That night, after another long day’s journey, they came upon a poor, dilapidated farm house and noticed one spindly cow in the small field nearby. The farmer and his wife both greeted them at the door. Hearing their tale, the elderly couple who lived there welcomed them into their home, saying, “We do not have much, but you may sleep in our bed tonight, and we will sleep on the floor. And you can share dinner with us, such as it is – a loaf of bread, some cheese, and milk from our cow. We barely get by selling her milk in the village. I am sorry we cannot offer you more.” The two angels expressed their gratitude for the couple’s kindness and slept well that night after dinner.
They awoke in the morning to the sound of the woman crying. They went to the kitchen to find the man comforting his sobbing wife at the table. The younger angel asked them what had happened. The man answered sadly, “In the middle of the night our cow died.” The elder angel said a brief prayer and some words of comfort before the two angels took their leave and were on the road again.
The younger angel said: “I do not understand. This couple had so little and yet were so generous to us, and you did nothing to help them! You even allowed their cow to die! Why?” The elder angers answered, “Things are not always as they seem”, and continued walking.
After several hours the young one spoke up again, distraught. “No, this is not right! It should not be this way. The grumpy wealthy man offers us nothing, and you fix the hole in his wall. The kindly couple opened their hearts and home to us, and you did nothing to help them at all! Why? I need to understand. And please do not just say that things are not always as they seem!”
The elder angel stopped walking and looked at his young companion. With a sigh he explained, “While you slept in the straw in the barn, I explored what was behind the hole in the wall. It was a vast collection of gold and money and jewels – where the wealthy man hid his treasures. So I did not fix the wall, as it appeared to you; I sealed it so he can never access it again.
“And in the case of the elderly couple, I awoke to find the Angel of Death in the house in the middle of the night and asked him why he was here. He pointed to the farmer’s wife as she lay sleeping, and told me he had come for her. I stopped him and said, ‘Take the cow instead.’ ”
The younger angel said, “So he still has his wife.” The old angel smiled, “You see, things are not always as they seem. He will get another cow.”
In my life, in yours, things are not always as they seem. What looks one way often turns out another, and there are hidden blessings going on all around us. All we need are the eyes to see…and it is the light of love within our hearts that makes that vision possible.
Written by Rev Steven McAffee
With questions and for counselling contact Rev Steven at firstname.lastname@example.org